


That One Thing

by Ink_Gypsy



Category: LOTR RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-03
Updated: 2010-03-03
Packaged: 2017-10-07 16:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Gypsy/pseuds/Ink_Gypsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanting them to be together in every way, Elijah prepares for the one intimate sexual act he's yet to experience with Sean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That One Thing

Elijah is trembling. He'd like to blame it on the cold -- he is naked after all -- but he knows his trembling has nothing to do with the temperature. The bedroom is warm, too warm, in fact. He considers that it might be anticipation, but he knows it's really fear. But that's crazy. He's with Sean, isn't he? And he always feels safe with Sean. He realizes it's not Sean, but what he's about to do with Sean that has him so scared.

Elijah is still a virgin, even though he doesn't feel like one. Since they've been together, he and Sean have done so many things with and to each other. Kissing, which Elijah really loves. And touching, which Elijah really loves. And hugging, which Elijah really -- fuck there's nothing about being with Sean that Elijah doesn't really love. Things have gone a lot further than Elijah ever imagined since those tentative first weeks. Sean has really gotten into sucking Elijah's cock, something Elijah never thought he'd ever feel comfortable doing, and to hear Sean tell it, Elijah going down on _him_ is practically a religious experience. They've done so many things together, but because they haven't done that one thing, Elijah is technically still a virgin. He wishes there was some quick fix for that. Some wizard's spell he could say and poof! he'd be devirginalized. _Sure, Frodo, ask Gandalf, why don't you?_ And is devirginalized even a word?

Elijah's told Sean often enough how much he wants this, but Sean has always hesitated because he has this irrational fear of hurting Elijah, of damaging him in some way. Elijah knows it's because of the way he looks, so...delicate. Elijah's far from delicate, but when he surveys himself in the mirror he can understand why people see him that way. He's short and slight, small-boned, with slims hips and narrow shoulders. He and Sean are the same height, give or take an inch, but while Sean's compact body is muscled and visually powerful, Elijah looks like a strong wind could blow him over. And his eyes, that startling blue, always looking too big for his face. His much too pretty face. "Don't need much make-up to highlight those cheekbones!" is a common cry in the make-up trailer. And his hands. They look like a child's when Sean takes them in his larger, much stronger ones. He accepts the fact that rugged and masculine are not words that normally come to mind when people say the name Elijah Wood, and it doesn't bother him. He's always been more concerned with what's on the inside than the outside. Still, Elijah knows that if he looked tough and macho like Dom or Viggo, Sean would have suggested this next natural step in their physical relationship months ago. Sean must think about it as much as Elijah. At least Elijah hopes he does. Of course if he looked like Dom or Viggo, Sean probably wouldn't be with him now. It was Elijah he fell in love with.

Sean has never complained about their sex life, and Elijah knows Sean will be willing to keep things the way they are forever. Content just to feel Elijah's body next to his. Happy just to hold him. To pet him. To rub his body against Elijah's, stroking their two cocks together until they pop like shook-up cans of beer. Elijah's the one who wants more, greedy boy that he is. To have Sean totally possess him. To feel as if Sean is a part of him. To truly belong to him. And Elijah's convinced himself that having Sean inside him is the only way to do it.

While he may not be physically imposing, Elijah's heart is bigger than the two islands that comprise New Zealand, his love for Sean even more vast than that untamed land, and tonight he's going to prove it. He doesn't care if he experiences any pleasure himself this first time. Tonight is about Sean's pleasure, about Elijah letting Sean know how much he's loved. He knows Sean still has doubts because Elijah is so much younger, but Elijah hopes offering himself this way will put any doubts Sean has to rest once and for all. Elijah knows there's going to be pain this first time, there has to be, but he's heard there can also be incredible pleasure. Though he wouldn't mind skipping it, he's not afraid of the pain, only Sean's reaction to it.

Elijah still can't stop trembling. He's worried that Sean will misinterpret this as doubt on Elijah's part and suggest they wait, so he tries to will himself still. Maybe he's being selfish asking for this, but while he knows he'll love having Sean inside him, he's also certain that fucking him will make Sean just as happy. So it's not just for himself that he wants this. Because he has so little experience, Elijah's worried that he won't be good enough to satisfy Sean. Now that Sean has finally agreed to make love to him, to _really_ make love, Elijah is terrified of disappointing him. Everything has to go perfectly. It's what Sean deserves. Elijah deserves it, too, but if it doesn't go well, Sean will blame himself. And Elijah couldn't stand that.

Sean's preparations are painfully slow and extremely thorough as he readies Elijah for their coupling, but Elijah isn't surprised at this. Did he really believe that Sean "Mr. Involved" Astin, a man obsessed with safety, would take something this important less seriously than anything else? _Sure, Lijah. What planet are you from?_

Elijah's own preparations, categorically different, yet just as thorough, take place before Sean even arrives. A nice warm bath to relax him, which doesn't -- can anything when he's this nervous? Followed by his first-ever douche, another new experience -- Elijah files it in his memories of tonight as a warm-up for the bigger, new experience -- and he's clean and ready for Sean. At least clean. Ready? The jury's still out.

The lube is warm. Sean's been warming it in his hands and now he applies it. He's done it for Elijah's comfort, but Sean has such large hands, such thick fingers, that when the first digit pushes inside him, Elijah hisses. "You okay, babe?" Elijah can hear the concern in Sean's voice. Concern for his welfare. Lijah's comfort always comes first with Sean.

"Fine, Sean." Elijah hopes he doesn't sound as uncomfortable as he feels. Luckily Sean can't see his face, see how much discomfort he's in. Elijah has never minded being small, but now he curses his body. He feels like some teenage girl gymnast or ballet dancer who's starved herself, purposely keeping her body underdeveloped for the sake of her art. He tries to find a more comfortable position and feels Sean's finger stop moving.

"This isn't a race, Elijah," Sean says, mistaking Elijah's movement for uncertainty. He uses his free hand to rub Elijah's back in an effort to calm him. "If I'm going too fast we can stop. And if you've changed your mind---"

"No!" Elijah's practically shouts this, causing Sean's hand to freeze on his back. Elijah takes a deep breath. "I mean, I don't want you to stop. I want you inside me, Sean. I'm just sorry I'm not better at this."

"You're fine," Sean tells him. The hand leaves Elijah's back and reaches up to caress his hair while Sean places a kiss at the base of his spine. "You're better than fine. You're perfect." Elijah tries to smile, but then he feels the entrance of Sean's second finger. He's more prepared this time, but it still hurts, especially when Sean makes the peace sign inside Elijah, or maybe it's a V for Victory. It's neither for Elijah. He's never felt less at peace, or less victorious.

What was it Ian told him to do? Bear down, that was it. Bear down so his asshole will open up and it will be easier for him to let Sean in. He bears down, but doesn't feel any less discomfort, and by the time the third of Sean's fingers joins his first two, Elijah is clawing at the sheets.

He must be some kind of a freak. He belongs in the Guinness Book of World Records. Smallest anal passage of an adult (well mostly adult) male. What possessed him to ask Sean for this? If he can't take Sean's fingers comfortably, then how can he ever expect to take Sean's cock? Sean is moving his fingers inside Elijah now. Elijah squeezes his eyes shut, but a tear still escapes from under his closed lids. "Are you ready, baby?" Sean asks, his lips close to Elijah's ear.

"Yes," Elijah manages through gritted teeth. And he is. He knows it now. He's been ready for this since the first time Sean touched him. Since the first time he saw Sean. He's never wanted anything as much as he wants this. And now it's finally happening. He just hopes his body doesn't let him down. Sean's given up so much for him. The thought that Sean will be unhappy with him, that Sean will be unfulfilled by him is almost more than Elijah can bear.

Sean gently removes his fingers. Elijah feels suddenly empty, then quickly full again as he feels Sean's cock begin its entrance. Elijah knows Sean's cock. He's seen it. Held it. Felt it's girth. It felt big when it was stretching Elijah's lips, but it feels twice as thick as he remembers now that it's stretching his ass, and fuck it really hurts, so much that he's that close to telling Sean to stop, managing to stifle the words just in time. Thank God for Sean's restraint. Elijah knows that if Sean gives in to the passion Elijah knows he's capable of, if he lets loose right now, he'll tear Elijah apart. But Sean is going slow. For Elijah. And still the pain is almost unbearable. Elijah doesn't realize how hard he's biting down on his bottom lip until he tastes the blood.

"Lijah," Sean says, his voice very far away, "this is incredible. You're so tight. The pressure on my cock's just about sending me over the moon."

Elijah understands perfectly. It's where he'd like to be right now. Over the moon. Out of this world. Anywhere but here.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?" Sean asks.

"It feels wonderful, Seanie," Elijah says, exhaling sharply. "Closest thing to heaven." It's closer to hell, Elijah thinks. At least it hurts like hell, but Elijah will bite his tongue off before he lets Sean know this. He won't ruin this for Sean. Even if it means that when it's finally over, Elijah will never be able to walk straight again.

Then in a sensation half liberating and half frightening, Elijah feels the ring of muscle finally yield and Sean is past the barrier that separates them. Elijah's intake of breath is so loud he buries his face in the pillow to muffle it.

"I want to move now, baby," Sean says. "Is that okay? Are you ready?"

Ready as I'll ever be, Elijah thinks. But says, "Can't wait, love." Then he stuffs the corner of the pillow into his mouth and bites down so Sean won't be able to hear him if he screams.

Sean's hands move to Elijah's hips, steadying him. Then he begins to move. Slow, gentle thrusts at first. Then a little harder. Then a little faster. Elijah gasps and shoves more of the pillow into his mouth. He's crying openly now, but Sean doesn't seen to notice. Maybe he's too caught up in the sensations he's feeling being inside Elijah for the first time.

Elijah suddenly finds himself wondering if maybe Sean has done this before, with Christine, but he forces the thought -- and the picture it conjures up -- out of his mind. Sean would have told him, wouldn't he, if he and Chris had done this?

Sean did seem very knowledgeable about the preparations, but knowing Sean, Elijah is sure he did extensive research on the subject. Elijah instinctively knows that somewhere in the apartment there's a copy of _The Joy of Gay Sex_ with the _first time_ pages well-thumbed. He just wishes he felt as confident as Sean seems to. From the first time he stepped in front of a camera, directors have been telling him he's a natural, but now Elijah feels completely lost, totally out of his depth, and utterly unprepared to take on this, the most important role he's ever played.

Elijah feels so insecure about his shortcomings that he actually finds himself hoping Sean will decide he doesn't like anal sex so he won't have to go through this torture again. But from the sounds Sean is making, Elijah knows that's not going to happen. He's buried up to the hilt in Elijah's ass, moaning incoherently. Very unlike Sean, Elijah muses. _And to think, I practically had to force him into this._

And if he doesn't already feel like enough of a failure, Elijah finds he's lost his erection. There had been dueling dicks as they went into the bedroom, their flesh-covered swords thrusting and parrying as they walked, their mouths glued together as they devoured each other's tongues. Sean's excitement continued to grow as he maneuvered Elijah into position. So did Elijah's. But the minute Sean entered him, the pain deflated Elijah's cock faster than a cold shower. He's grateful he's lying face-down on the bed. Ian told him this was the best position for penetration, at least for his first time. A position of total submission, and Elijah wants more than anything to submit to Sean. He just had no idea it would hurt this much.

Elijah's happy that Sean didn't suggest face to face for their first time, knowing how much Sean loves kissing him. This way Sean can't see his face, can't see him wincing and biting down with each thrust. He's surprised that Sean doesn't wonder why he isn't being more vocal, but he's glad, too. Better to make no sound than to let Sean hear his distress. Maybe Sean is so caught up in his own body he just assumes that Elijah is experiencing the same obvious pleasure that he is. Elijah wishes he was, too, but for now, knowing that Sean is enjoying himself is enough. Elijah keeps his hands over his cock so Sean can't touch it. He knows if Sean reaches under him and finds Elijah's flaccid cock, he'll learn the real story, and it will ruin everything for him.

Inside his head Elijah's running tomorrow's lines. Making a list of new CD's and game cartridges he wants to buy. Anything to keep his mind off the pain. He finds himself wishing he had the One Ring so he could put it on and disappear, leaving Sean to find someone more deserving of his love.

Then the unthinkable happens. The pain is suddenly less and he's feeling...he's not sure what he's feeling. Not until Sean pulls out and then pushes back inside again, hitting a spot on the way in that sends Elijah over the moon, too. Elijah opens his mouth and when the corner of the pillow slips out, so does something else. A sound. Not a groan of pain this time. But a whimper. And then -- is this really coming from inside him? -- a moan of...pleasure? Sean is fucking him, and Elijah is actually enjoying it. Enough to finally be able to voice it, but all he can manage is, "Oh...Sean...fuck..."

Sean interprets this as a request, and goes at it harder, but that's fine with Elijah. In fact, everything is fine now, or at least getting there. To his great surprise, his cock is coming back to life. Filling with blood. Lengthening. Lifting. He's never been very religious, but if there's a patron saint of hard-ons, Elijah will gladly wear that fucker's medal around his neck for the rest of his life.

Only a few short minutes ago he couldn't wait for this to be over, and now he wishes it could go on forever. Pieces of Sean are everywhere, taking control of his body. Sean's lips on his shoulders. His back. The nape of his neck. Sean's right hand sliding under his belly, closing around Elijah's now fully-erect cock. Stroking him. Teasing him. Running his thumb over the head and teasing the slit in a way that always drives Elijah mad. And all the while Sean's cock is moving deeper and deeper inside him until Elijah thinks he'll die from the sheer joy of it.

And just when Elijah thinks he can't feel any more complete, he hears Sean cry out. A low, guttural cry of release. Sean shudders, then stiffens, and seconds later Elijah feels Sean flowing into him. Almost simultaneously, Elijah's body jerks and his cock jumps in Sean's hand, bathing his thick, strong fingers in warm, milky liquid.

Elijah feels Sean's body come down heavily on top of him. Pressing his mouth to the back of Elijah's neck, he says in a hoarse voice, "You've given me such a precious gift, Lijah. Thank you, baby. I love you so much." Elijah doesn't answer. He's crying again and is afraid Sean won't understand. He buries his face in the pillow.

Sean's weight is uncomfortable, yet Elijah doesn't want him to move. He wants them to stay just like this, with Sean's body covering him. Protecting him. Keeping him safe. When Sean finally does pull out, he rolls off Elijah, coming to rest beside him. When Elijah doesn't turn over, Sean takes his shoulders and turns Elijah over onto his side to face him.

One look and Elijah knows it's all been worth it. Knows he'd go through all the pain again if the way Sean is looking at him is his reward. Sean's face is a wonder. More content, more satisfied than Elijah has ever seen him. And Elijah is proud that he's been able to bring such fulfillment to the one he loves.

Then Sean sees Elijah's tears, and suddenly he's transformed into the old Sean. Anxious. Worried. Ready to take the blame -- or at least the responsibility -- for whatever's gone wrong. "I hurt you, didn't I?" he asks, his face now a mask of concern as he kisses away Elijah's tears and licks the salt from his lips.

Elijah shakes his head. "You didn't hurt me," he lies. He hates himself for it, but he has to make Sean believe it so he won't feel guilty. Deceiving Sean is the hardest thing he's ever had to do, but he knows that after tonight he won't ever have to do it again.

"But you're crying, love."

"Tears of joy," Elijah tells him. And smiles.

Suddenly he's in Sean's arms and Sean is kissing him, crushing Elijah against his chest. And while they're kissing, Elijah realizes that Sean's eyes are as wet as his own.

Later, as he's drifting off to sleep with Sean spooned behind him, Elijah is happier than he's ever been. He and Sean are truly lovers now. There's nothing they haven't done together. Not even that one thing.


End file.
